It’s a common question, with an ever-changing answer. I am sure if you asked your parents or someone from an older generation, they would probably tell you that it involves running away in secret to get married at the courthouse or even in Vegas.

Elopements have always been misunderstood and are often associated with being “secret”, disapproval from family, shame and embarrassment, or other negative connotations. No one seems to be able to truly define what an elopement is.

But those things do not define what an elopement is anymore. Elopements continue to evolve and the definition will continue to evolve. So the Oxford Dictionary definition isn’t changing anytime soon, but I am here to tell you a definition of eloping that truly defines what it means today.

So what is the modern definition of an elopement? Intentionally choosing to step away from the cookie-cutter wedding and allow space for what truly matters on your wedding day: representing the love between you and your partner in an authentic way.

Quite simply, eloping is a wedding experience without boundaries.

There is no more obligation.

There is so much less stress.

There is no one to please but yourselves.

It’s about YOU.

YOU can do anything on your wedding day.

YOU can get married anywhere.

YOU can completely personalize the experience.

Elopement ceremonies stand as a reminder that love cannot be defined and wedding days are meant to be cherished. As an elopement photographer, I am not only passionate about photographing the couples that choose to elope with me, but I am extremely passionate about getting people to understand what elopements actually are. I truly believe they are the coolest, realist, and most amazing way to get married and I want my couples to know that!

It is going to look different for every single couple, but that is the best part. There are no rules when it comes to elopements!

What is the difference between elopements and intimate weddings?

I use the word elopement and intimate weddings pretty interchangeably. And technically, an elopement is just a really really intimate wedding, but there are some differences.

Typically, elopements are the couple, an officiant, your photographer (of course), and maybe a few other people. Intimate weddings tend to have up to 25 people invited to them.

Elopements focus entirely on the couple and the wedding experience that they want to have. There are no limits to what you can do if you elope. You can kayak, skydive, hike, or do whatever makes you happy on your wedding day. Think of it like the best date you’ve ever been on, in fancier attire, and you get documentation to remember the whole day! Intimate weddings do carry some focus on the guests since there are more people. This is not a bad thing though! You can still have an extremely customizable experience and maybe have a reception at an Airbnb cabin in the mountains.

Elopements can take place almost anywhere! Because you aren’t confined to a space that needs to host a lot of people, many couples choose to elope in epic destinations or somewhere adventurous. You can elope on an Iceberg in Alaska, but this type of location would be very difficult to have more guests at. For that reason, intimate weddings usually need a location with a bit more space. Intimate weddings can still have epic locations though!

Elopements and intimate weddings are very similar because they allow for you to customize your wedding experience however you would like. For both, the focus is about you and your partner. Elopements tend to include an activity or adventure together while intimate weddings tend to have a few more people, and often have a small casual reception dinner or party.

Common myths about elopements

Elopements are shameful or unapproved marriages.

Nope nope nope. There is no shame in choosing to elope. While this may have been true in the past, elopements are about choosing to have a wedding experience that is intimate, authentic, and true to YOU. When you choose to elope, you are choosing a meaningful wedding day experience packed with intentionality and your personality. Ain’t no shame in that!

Elopements are for lonely people with no friends and family.

For whatever reason, there is a common misconception that people who choose to elope don’t have communities in their life that support them or their marriage. This is definitely not true! Many couples that have chosen to elope with me have strong friendships, good family relationships, and are being backed in their decision to elope. These couples still chose to elope instead of going the “normal” route because they recognized that the most important thing on their wedding day was their love. Eloping is not about excluding your family or friends from the day, but prioritizing your love and the wedding day experience that you want to have. Elopements can still include family and friends if everyone is supportive and on board!

People only elope to save money.

Many people think that eloping couples choose to elope because they are traditionally the less expensive option. I like to think of it as a positive effect of eloping, but not the sole reason that people choose to elope. In fact, many couples actually choose to invest heavily into their elopement day because they value having an incredible experience with their partner, doing what they love on their wedding day. Elopements remove all the small stuff like party favors, plates, candle holders, and bring the day back to what really matters, you and your partner getting married. Couple’s budgets have nothing to do with that choice.

Elopements are always last minute and don’t need any planning.

Of course this can be true, but it is not always the case anymore. Many couples I work with spend just as much time planning their elopement day as they would a traditional wedding. Elopements do not cut corners and make for a “less-than” wedding day experience. Your elopement can be a full day of plans or be more laid back and flexible. No matter what, elopements are about you making the decision to say “yes” to YOU.

Elopements are selfish.

This idea gets me fired up and really needs to stop! As I have said many times already, your wedding day is about you and your partner. No one else. If you want to have a big party and invite all your friends and family, great! Do that! But if you want to have a smaller and more intimate wedding day, let me be the first to tell you that you are not selfish for wanting that. You should never feel bad about doing what feels authentic to you!

What does an elopement day look like?

That’s the beauty, your elopement day can be whatever you want it to be. Remember, it’s a wedding experience without boundaries.

I always tell my couples to make dreaming up your elopement day fun. This is how I tell my couples to dream up their day…

Take a second and look at each other for me (actually do it!). Now picture in your mind the best possible day with each other. From the time you got up, to the time you went to bed. What would you see? Where are you? What would you want to do first? What kind of adventures would you want to have that day? Where would you want to explore? What day could you dream up that you could look back on and say omg that was the most incredible day of our lives and I wish I could relive it every day over and over.

Don’t get too detailed yet, just keep it general. Are you on your favorite beach running through the waves? Have you just hiked to the top of a mountaintop? Are you in a boat out on a lake? Are you having a few beers around a campfire deep in the wilderness? Are you looking out at the city skyline on a rooftop?

Whatever you do, don’t limit your thinking right now. Just think about what feels right and what would make you excited!

Want to see what a real elopement can look like?

You deserve to have a wedding day that you have always dreamed of. You deserve a wedding day without boundaries.

Get in touch with me and let me guide you to your perfect elopement day.